unashamed love

"you're calling me to lay aside, the worries of my day.

to quiet down my busy mind, to find a hiding place."

when gracie started humming those words over dinner, it struck me hard that i've totally neglected the very loving God who promised to be there regardlessly. bogged down by the heaviness that the exams are weighing me down with, i wished time could rewind itself and teleport me back to the day i first heard this song in 2001. the time where feeling His presence seemed easy. trusting him was instinctive. what happened to me? how have i ended up becoming a person who sleeps in on sunday mornings to miss service because "its the exams"? i just feel absolutely unchristiany. and if they were to say that being christian doesnt equvilate to a religion but a relationship rather, wouldnt my nonexistent, or onesided, at the very least, relationship per se, be totally unchristianlike? like what Pastor Steven always said, when God seems far away, looked who moved.

sigh, i need my christine back. things always seemed easier with her around.