its freaking october!

so its october. like whoa calendar, slow down will ya. EARTH! stop spinning so quickly, you might just fall off your axis. hurhur.

i cant believe its october already. the last i remember, i was burning nights prepping up for Project Aware and now we're prepping for Halloween. i think it honestly was a good experience overall. alot of anger management issues though, haha.. but its almost funny. screw whoever else who tried to mangle, it takes a whole load to bring a gloria down. so nice try people, really, nice try. clap clap.

its just disappointing to think back and realise the amount of value people put in friendships, or should i say, the lack of it all. it's ok, really. go ahead, do whatever you want. dont make it personal.

so anyway, before this post gets a little too melodramatic and dreadful or vengeful...

weeks flew by. i wouldnt say nothing much has changed, cos in retrospect, alot has. even the way we do things right now, i dont feel much of the need to be at rambai lately. i think it all took a turn when i started running late nights at janices helping out at the bar, that and having a car to run around in. and the funny thing about me only being able to work at night, doesnt allow me to so being ard in rambai in the day really is rather counter productive. i need to get it back somehow. i need to find the drive..my goodness. it has to start like now now now.

because ive been home much more lately, ive been hanging out more with robert, my housemate. he's such a darl. he even does my laundry! woohoo! how i hate hanging wet laundry up. and he makes me nice hot tea in the morning. i love this whole living with more than just family thing. i think that was how rambai was such a draw, so being home now has a purpose too. and he's been wanting really bad to train me up to be his little sommelier. and he wants to learn chinese, so we trade. him with his french and spanish and me with the little mandarin that i know. come on, dont smirk, i can do the basics at least. haha.

its been fun! really! we talk about the most random of things. from religion to gay people, to monster birds and being stagnated here in singapore. we both agreed i need a janice to get moving. i dont know whether its an excuse or that is the truth that i need someone or a reason to get out and move. i remember the other day when joyce was dangling the DJ job in front of my face like a tasty piece of red meat. she made it seem like i was a starving malnutritioned wolf that hasnt eaten since may, since i left the park. and she kept screaming MEDIACORP, MEDIACORP! like its the best thing in this world. i was actually quite offended. dont take me being jobless as a bad thing because it isnt. to me, you're gonna work for the rest of your life, whats the hurry really. it isnt as if ive been bumming on my ass, vegetating infront of the tv for the past few months. its homework year for me. i'm doing my NCAP, i wanna get my instructor cert, i wanna pick up a language. and its all gonna contribute somehow to next year. its like being back in school, thats all. so if it wasnt for the fact that she was tipsy, i would have railed all out at her. and you really dont wanna see that happen. she might sit on me. haha.

now that stella's gone, peace has resumed back at the rambai. so its been good, for now at least. i dont know why, but ive been shutting this whole urge of lugging the HP desktop back home for some reason. somethings pulling me away from that place. i cant put my finger to it. maybe i need aircon to work, haha, who knows. maybe i need the cave like atmosphere that i have in my room to function. maybe i need less emo people to be around me because it drives me up the wall sometimes. the level of estrogen in the house is equavilent to an entire female population suffering from PMS. its dreadful. i need more men in the house. i need more cool level headed, non pissy creatures.

or maybe, i just need to learn to be satisfied. God, give me a clue. there's just so much to do!