solitude

I couldn’t get to sleep last night. I bet I’ve tossed and turned for a good hour or two. My brain was on an overdrive. Thoughts were racing thru and it was tiring. I’ve never had a problem with snoozing, but last night was hard. It was just…different.

It really isn’t so much of pre-jitters of getting back to reality, to face nothingness, of not having anything to look forward to, to not having an office to get back to. It really wasn’t much of that. I don’t know, unexplained problems that maybe even my head is unaware of. I need a breather, I really do. And I need someone to breathe with me too..

Everyone got up for tennis at 7am this morning. I snuggled back in and groaned… ITS A MONDAY…. I didn’t have shoes to play tennis with, and flopping around in slippers could kill my knees. Id rather archery or Frisbee, so I buried my face back into the pillow while the rest trooped off to seize the day.

I sat by the breakfast table, hiding my face yet again in the sport diving magazine I brought along. Good call Gloria, magazines are great cover ups. Mom visited and had breakfast with us and was asking the rest whether I was so quiet all along the entire trip. Mei gu just replied, oh, she’s become a cool girl. She never does talk anymore. Haha. Well done. I’m quite liking this new profile. Id rather take quiet walks on the beach, grab a book or write and rattle on endlessly than to socialize. I know mom knows something isn’t right. It’s a mother instinct thing, and she’s been probing but my mono-worded replies drives her insane. Lets just see how long her patience would last.

I’ve morphed into a moodless creature with absolute zero motivation to do anything at all. Sigh, I want the old Gloria back. Someone send the troops and search for her quick, before she takes of and goes on a run again. And by then, it'll be too late….