do what the romans do..

bleah. i hate being caught inbetween political turmoil. and its really getting to me. i dont want to be involved, really dont need to be.

pam has been lamenting endlessly about nick. the one person whom i thought is best for me. the best boss ever. i guess being relaxed about everything doesnt make me learn. i just..i just wished things were better. that i wouldnt have to feel so caught inbetween. i really do want to be good at what i do. and pam is right about how i really do need guidance. and if anything, it should be nick who's guiding me. and theres so much more i want to do and implement and create and make out of. but having a totally laid back, totally unexcitable boss doesnt seem to be the perfect fit of how things should be if i want it my way.

things like. not telling me of a&p meetings or promotions even. like..hellllooo.. i'm kinda the only other person in the department. if you dont let me know, who should you tell then? urgh. he is the nicest person, which makes it even more complicated to hate. and i love working with him. i love him to death because he functions exactly the way i do. just that, i seem to have a lot more hyperactivity going on in my head. way more ethusiasm. sometimes, its only pam and i going gaagaa about a new idea. he's in charge of a&p, high time he start getting rahrahh..

and then, there are the people at the zoo. people whom i feel dont value what i say, or deem me as utterly stupid. the way she laughs it off, urks the hell out of me. like hellloo man, you're a freaking mother, you ought to have more patience. its like, when she doesnt understand, it means we're unclear. when we dont understand, it amounts to us being absolutely retarded. what the hell is this world coming to. screw wildlife. i only want to stick to my birdies. this extra reign of authority over me doesnt make sense half the time. and we're like freaking 2nd class citizens there. everything takes way longer than usual to get approved, churned out. who gets the blame in the end. oh..coz birdparks slow in everything we do. whatever man. we're a 2 man team, with no designer nor IT personnel, everything has to come from over your end because you say so. and you're the least supportive ever, saying things like, oh, it isnt worth the cab ride over. and you're blaming us for being slow? live with it then.

i wish someone who just drag me out of singapore for a bit. i need a break. ive work endlessly for the past 3 weeks, im tired. i really want to do absolutely nothing. think about absoutely nothing, preferably wear absolutely nothing too. hur hur.

sweep me away..far far away..