its just too easy to say youre sorry

ive been getting msges all throughout the day. and try as i might, i cant get myself to reply anyone. i dont feel like im up to it at all.

why does it hurt more when those who are close, or those whom you considered are close disappoints. i wouldnt fucking care if you guys didnt matter. why?

honestly, its no use saying sorry. its over and done with. and theres nothing you can do that can make up or change it. if you need me to hear you out, i will. but it wouldnt necessarily mean that it'll make a difference. ive been hurt. fine. im moving on.

everytime when i fault ben for not making an effort, he ends up getting hurt by my words, or by the fact that i'd choose to stand up for you guys. it aint fair. and when he does, it amounts to nothing. last year, you guys agreed to contribute for the potluck for my birthday. not only did you guys come so awfully late, we would also have been filling our lungs with pool water if it wasnt for his friends and christine.

forget it guys, really. just leave it. i no longer see a point.