battery's critical

we saw dolphins, oh how i wished i was in the water. just above eugene and the tech divers. what a waste they didnt see it. we went to weird unknown dive sites. i found seamoths! we got stung insanely by jellyfish. we ate like there was no tomorrow. we played silly games with marine handsignals. we pranced around to billy jean. the water was dead flat. the dives were good. we "fished". we tried the DPV. i got hydrioded. we took communual showers. i had toe popsicles every morning. i wanted to put a knife through eugenes head but he made up for it somehow. i got angry, very angry. i wanted so bad to be alone but it was virtually impossible when youre stuck on a 70 foot boat. i had massive diarrhea, which resulted in a broken yolk valve on my apeks reg :(

so alot of things happened over one weekend, but i guess the crew trip went fairly well. my first LOB and i wasnt all raving mad about it, rather tragic i know. whats happening to the gogogloria?

i've been so on the edge lately. i seem to be alot less torlerant towards a certain few people. strangely, the people that are closer to me. i couldnt care less about anyone else right at this point. ive either been angry, or on autopilot. its terrible i know. i dont know whats wrong either.

i even got irritated while diving on this trip. like, the thought of not diving anymore even crossed my mind. im actually finding comfort in the fac that the season is ending. its nasty i swear. like i said, i dont know whats happening..im just.. i need something fresh. something new.

we watched 'what happens in vegas', and the ending scene had cameron diaz talking about how shes spent her whole life pleasing everyone, shes never quite happy. i'm not saying ive been doing that, but i think im pretty much stretched out. i've spent far too much time being the life of the party, i think i need to take a step back to breathe a little. im so glad that ive got robert to bitch to at 5am in the morning. i kinda miss the rambai, having housemates to talk to at anytime of the day. sigh..push on gloria..

so there. i guess "you cant please everyone" isnt just an aphorism afterall. maybe after all this, after i get my battery's recharged, its going to be the start of me doing something remarkable. the art of it all, how i dread the wait..