hatelove

to live is hard. to love is even harder. and when you put both together, it becomes the evil concoction for all sadness and loneliness in this world. i just wished somehow i knew, that temptations arent as easy to overcome as i thought it would have. that if you allow it to manifest in your head, it takes root not only in your head, but in your heart and your soul. and it makes doing the simplest of things hard. things that you'd think would never matter to you. that it would be easy to rectify in due time. its a drug. it dulls your senses, and it makes you want to follow your instincts, to get more of it. its just never enough. but why does it have to be so hard. why do we have to face choices in life that would have consequences to bear for in the future. why cant we, be like little kids, to do what we like, when we like, when we feel like it. as much as you cannot force yourself to love, its even harder to force yourself to give things up. im miserable. my hearts aching. but its all for the better. i need to be the cruel brutal bitch to make you realise that there are better things in life. better people in life worth waiting/crying for.

i'm sorry.