where art thou?

i still cant accept the fact that bird's gone. i just dont understand why. and its breaking my heart so badly. ive had SO many animals come and go in my life, it makes me wonder why i cant deal with this. i mean, i should..right? it shouldnt be that hard.

but i miss waking up to screeching and random 'praise the Lord!'. i miss having someone greet me good morning, or tell me NO! when he aint happy. i want someone to command me to 'come here' when he feels like it. hell, i even miss his car sirens and ambulance screams. urghhh.. where are youuu.....

i cant take his absence. i cant look at the sky and not wonder where he is. and its such irony starting work in a birdpark. im so hoping someone turns in a lost african grey at the birdpark. and if he screams, IM BIRDBIRD! i might just flip. like 2 million backflips and forward rolls. i want him back so bad its killing me. i cant do things right, i cant stop thinking about it. its worse than going through a breakup because its too sudden. i wasnt prepared! i need closure. i need to know that he's happy and safe and aint starving his brains out. he'll freak when it rains. what if he catches like..bird flu. or something. my poor baby. birdbird, where are you.

even finding loose feathers at home make me weep. how on earth am i gonna work at a freaking birdpark. someone kill my pain and bring my love back home.

please, please come home soon......