Family Business vs Freedom of Independence

i remember asking a few random people years back whether it was better to be in a rich family with parents too busy making money and replacing lost love in monetary means, which also means getting that latest gadget or handheld or dream car even just by trashing out a wad of cash. or was it better to be in an average family whose parents have all the time in the world since family is their utmost priority, though getting an old can-do mp3 player would require discipline in saving up. with obvious reasons, the latter was usually chosen. who wouldnt choose parental affection over money.

fine, with the obvious settled, next came the importance of having a fixed paved out route to take upon by continueing the family business or passing out into the workforce, fresh and inexperienced to challenges that laid ahead. maybe its the cause of me battling over work or studies first that urged me to writing this, that may be irrelevant to most who would ever read this, but whatever the case, mind not my musings. i have to go on.

it would be simple to carry on the line, haha, sounds like providing the family with a grandson, but would that be what u truly desire for the rest of ur life? maybe its by default, by ur entire life's worth of brainwawshing by ur parents that this is the path to choose, that ur very purpose of existence in this world was to carry on the family line, then what about ur own asipiration? provided they were even given a chance to birth, to develop, to actualise into something substancial enough to argue and fight for.

for instance, my dad would be thrilled if i carried on his family life education counselling centre. or be a child care teacher, to carve young minds and shape young hearts. or a missionary, a pastor, an evangelist. but would that be my calling? i dont know, though i highly doubt so. i might just wring the poor kidos' neck on the first day of school. my brother ended up being an engineer, as what my mom had wanted, my sister, a major in sociology, as what my dad had wanted, both taking the ac mg route up to acjc and straight into university. since there isnt another parent to fulfil their dreams, and since ive already broken the trend to enrol into a polytechnic, though not on purpose, maybe its a sign that i will be different.

fulfilling ur parents dreams may be important, but in this case, id rather be selfish. id choose to be selfish. id rather my own freedom of choice in deciding where my life would end up than being what u wanted to be but never had a chance to. sure, u can guide and stand by me, supportively just as a parent should, but to usher me straight into a path id rather not take upon, id stand firm and be adamant, because u know my answer. my desperate plea, that someday u will understand that 'no' doesnt mean i dont love u anymore. 'no' doesnt mean i choose to disobey. 'no' doesnt mean im rebelling in utter defience. maybe, all it means is that its time to let go, and let me experience life the way God had intended, not how u had intended. 'no' means i want my freedom of independence, that i'm mature enough to undertake this new lease of life ahead of me. but 'no' also mean, as crazy as it seems, as difficult it is to comprehend, that i still respect u, that i still love u. so yell at me if u have to, id understand, because someday, i would be a parent too.