university buffet

ugh, im bursting. i just had dinner at the marketplace, plaza cafe at the swissotel. the place where my family always go for big family dinners. i am so terribly full. and it was good since it was nearing national day, they served complimentary wine and an excellent prego cake. ah..yum..how i love buffets. haha.

was at this IDP australian universities fair today with lionel and my brother and sisterinlaw. quite an experience though it was pretty overwhelming. there are just too many courses to choose from. it was exciting! really, though i honestly didnt wanna really look into it in fear that i may actually chance upon a course im really interested in. i want the exposure, i want the independent life. but i dont want life without ben or my friends. i know its temporary, but so are feelings! who knows what 2-3 years may do to gloria. she may end up becoming a neat organised freak. an early bird! a perfectionist, a stern serious geek. ah..the list can go on and on and on. i mean, i really do wanna explore, but i dont have the courage to. i dont dare leave what i have here behind. i know many have done it. but the thought of it scares me already. sigh..what should i do. how am i supposed to know what Gods plans are for my life. am i supposd to just know? like *ting!* and tadaa! i know He wants me abroad..or what? how certain am i to say that this is what God wants, and not what i want? am i able to put Him before my own desires? will my fickledmindedness accept what He has in store for me? i so need to ask, i so need to seek, i so need to pray! rah!